forget coronavirus, Kristen Bell made me start blogging

At the precipice of the new decade, I had a feeling commonly suffered by my early twenty-something peers: panic, with a healthy helping of existential dread. Was it the fact that I still couldn’t cook rice at age 23? Or was it my realization that the seemingly limitless potential of my future in college was now finite? Hard to say.

But all my ontological research through podcasts, reddit forums, and Chrissy Tiegen’s twitter led me to a singular conclusion: it was damn time I became a blogger. 

And so, $250 later I had a catchy domain and a personalized email address (for which I paid extra). I was (literally) invested; it was time to manifest my own destiny (in a non-problematic way). 

That is the beautiful story of how I created another unfinished project. At least I could say I had a blog, even if I wasn’t a blogger. However, my free time increased significantly as COVID19 rapidly progressed. Finally, my opportunity to create content arose. 

And yet not even an unprecedented pandemic and global financial instability could get me to write a single word. What did? Binging all of the Good Place over the course of a week during said pandemic. 

For all you fellow philosophy philistines out there, the Good Place transforms a favorite topic of pseudo-intellectual frat boys into an engaging and tangible discussion of life. Suddenly I don’t feel like I’m wasting away dozens of hours of my ephemeral youth watching TV; I’m busy figuring out the meaning of life. 

As recently the news mirrors the bizarre occurrences of a show about the afterlife, I forced my lazy ass to do more than oscillate between my couch and bed. It all extends back to that unsettling feeling that my effort, and beyond that, my bravery (or lack thereof) inhibit me from ever reaching full potential. 

I realize I want to be more than a student and more than an entry-level analyst at a large corporation. I can aspire to be more than the girl who bought a blog I never use. I can think bigger than that: instead, I can be the girl who writes a blog no one ever reads. Which brings us to this post. For all this dribble, you have Kristen Bell to thank. 

Epilogue: I wrote this 5 months ago only to never touch my blog or actually publish it again, so maybe everything is a lie. Granted, what is abject truth? That’s what the Good Place dances around in a humorous manner (what, I was trying to come full circle here).